funnn pics

here are some pics of clouds and a bonus pic of a superhuman



Taken on the day before my son's last day of third grade. We had nachos, threw the football and watched a Foo Fighters concert. The sky was beautiful on this Monday evening. Because of this picture, I will never forget this special evening with my son.






This was taken from my job's parking lot while I was at lunch. There was this big cloud hiding the sun. then, as it slowly moved away, I was able to capture both.





This is Mike Schwab. Or, as the Germans call him, Mike Schvvab. Mike is a badass, plain and simple. He's also a diabetic. But what most people don't know, and as this recently released picture shows us, diabetics are actually superhumans with super powers us mere mortals are only starting to understand.

EyeHeartGodzilla - "Dirge For Jamis"

EyeHeartGodzilla. A play on words; a riffing on the band name EyeHateGod. EHG was Dustin and I's first "real" band before moving onto bigger and better things. We weren't really sure what the hell we were doing (he on drums, me on guitar - we shared vocals, depending on the song) when we started jamming together.

But the important thing was - we knew we wanted to jam. We willed this crap into existence.

About a year later, when our chops were a little more polished, we put this number together. It started with some jamming around on a "doomy" riff I had been playing around on. Dustin brought the sludge with the drums and after a few run-throughs, we knew we had something. But it was missing that pinch of cinnamon that would bring it all together.

In came our buddy Aaron with just that ingredient. Not to downplay the "pinch" he brought in, Aaron added a second guitar and some understated, but amazing lead work that, even when he and I were just playing the same riff during the verses, it made all the difference.

This recording was done live in Dustin's sultry upstairs jam room in the middle of August. After a few failed attempts, this track was caught live with one mic and I did vocals later (just in case you like the track but hate the vocals, I'm the one to blame).

This is one of the few tracks that the three of us can be heard on, which kinda sucks. Wish there were more.

Summer of 2006. We were eating riffs and shitting feedback.

(lyrics - scripture from the Dune novel)


Dirge For Jamis by melduncan

Punch Me!!1!

To promote the first annual Punch Mel Duncan Day, here's some playful punching on me from co-worker/iron tri-athlete Mike Schwab. Punch My Face Day is this Friday. Events start at 7:55pm EST. Cupcakes and Punch will be provided.

Awkward Situations.

Here's a list of situations I get all squirmy about. I know they're a little silly - that most people deal with these issues without breaking a sweat - but I figured I'd use the cold comfort of the internet to divulge the pickles in which i find myself. Here are a few...


Trying to collect a personal loan from a 400 pound meth addict with the words "born to die" tattooed across his face.

Asking a stripper if she can change a five dollar bill for 20 quarters.

Walking around with a rolled up dollar bill up my nose at a police taser seminar.

Being afraid of asking for extra ranch dressing at a restaurant out of the fear of being judged and thought of as a fatty fat fuck.

Realizing I, in a drunken fit, accidentally entered into a long term relationship with a woman I met on Craigslist that openly admitted to castrating her last four boyfriends, one of which being the proprietor of a Tupperware booth at a local flea market, who, in a bit of tragic irony, had just won the Tupperware regional "Gold Star" award for most Tupperware sales by a person with testicles.

Pooping at a bridal registry kiosk. I know, I'm weird, but I just get all awkward when I do it.

Using the baby Jesus doll to attempt suicide while performing on stage at a christmas pageant.

Prematurely ejaculating, then pretending I have a leg cramp as my reason for stopping.

Running for mayor of my town, getting nominated, then elected, then realizing I actually wanted to learn how to parasail instead.

Having to change a tire outside a lesbian bar.

Do you have any awkward situations you'd like to share? Great! Use a razor and write them across your chest and email the picture to Glenn Beck.

Top 125 Songs Of All Time - "Lukin"

Hewwo,

This is my personal list of the Top 125 songs ever made. The Top 125 will not be ranked by number. I'm not really into arbitrarily trying to reason that "I Could Have Lied" ranks one point higher than "Bald Headed Hoes." Okay, bad example, I doubt "Bald Headed Hoes" or any other Willie D. song will make the list.

That said, his album Controversy remains a treasure to me. At 12, when I first heard the record, I was familiar with most of the words he used, but I had never heard them used in that order or context. It seriously changed how I looked at swearing forever, and truly believe I'm a better cusser because of it.

Speaking of foul words, the first entry into this bullshit list that no one will read is Pearl Jam's "Lukin." Pearl Jam just announced their 20th anniversary concert today. Info here - pj20.com

Anyfuckingway, "Lukin" comes from PJ's fourth studio record, No Code. It was widely seen as a departure for the band, and while it debuted at number one on the charts, it was seen as a commercial disappointment as it's sales paled in comparison to their first three records.

In my opinion, the band had been slowly but surely trying to sabotage their success starting with this record. Everyone knows they had refused to make videos for their singles, but the lead radio single from No Code was "Who You Are."

You don't even have to make it very far into the song to realize it was one of the most anti-commerical choices for a single in recent (if not all) history. On top of that, it was the lead single. Ya know, the one that's supposed to grab every one's attention?

Rock radio begrudgingly played "Who You Are," probably for no other reason than to seem relevant (this was right before the Clear Channel merger, when radio thrived to be halfway relevant.). It was in rotation for a couple weeks then forgotten about.

Damn near six months later, the band released a second single, but it was probably the second most noncommercial song on the record. Here's a live, pro-shot cut of "Off He Goes".

Don't get me wrong, there are some damn catchy songs on No Code. (It's probably my favorite Pearl Jam record, but that really depends on what day you catch me.) There's a lot on this record I could make an argument for, but the song that makes the Top 125 is "Lukin."

"Lukin" is a one minute blast of pure rock fury. It's really hard to say "Pearl Jam" and "thrash/punk" in the same sentence with a straight face, but hey, listen and decide for yourself.

The song is clearly about a stalker, and the lyrics would be enough to indicate that Eddie is being auto-biographical here, but "Lukin" is actually Matt Lukin, former bassist for The Melvins and Mudhoney - both Seattle area bands. Matt Lukin isn't the stalker though. His pad is the safe haven for the narrator (Vedder) to hide. Whether the events described in the lyrics are 100% true are not, the anger is genuine. The screams are raw and the music is at the brink of collapsing on itself. There's not even a second chorus; it ends abruptly with a short verse and the startling lyrics "The last I heard the freak was purchasing a fucking gun."

I grew up with a wide variety of music playing through the house. Commodores and Michael Jackson from my mom, Chicago and Moody Blues from my dad, Led Zeppelin and Metallica from one brother and NWA and Willie D/Ghetto Boys from another. You get the idea: blah blah, wow I'm sooo versatile, huh?

I mention this because one genre I really hadn't fully discovered was punk and it wasn't until late middle-school age. Punk, as I heard it, is basically the pop formula turned on its head. It's catchy as fuck, but it's not pretty.

So with all this in mind, Pearl Jam, my favoritestestest band in the world releases a minute-long punk song. A heavy one. With lots of tear-your-throat-out-screaming.

And it's right in the middle of their weirdest, quietest album to date.

There are a lot of songs from No Code that could make this list, and honestly, there's another song from this record that probably will.

Next up on the list: a pretty little ballad from a young lady that has a connection to The Beatles.

Cell Phone Pictures

Around 7:30 pm, late March, 2011. One of the first of many days this year that deceptively felt like Spring, only to have the rug snatched from beneath us. We threw the football around that evening in the lot behind the apartment.

This shot was taken in between storms that evening. It was very windy with low-flying dark clouds moving quickly while the high altitude, more majestic clouds slowly scooted along.



What happens on a weeknight when you are single, lonely, drunk and should have gone to bed hours ago? This photo is one of the more innocent answers to that question. Having just moved in with a new room mate after a break up, i barely slept. This led to me taking pictures of a lot of dumb shit.



...so I wish I had an explanation for this one. The time stamp doesn't suggest I was drunk because it was taken in the middle of an afternoon. I also have no idea what it is either. This mystery has haunted me for minutes, as I just rediscovered this picture. If you have any ideas as to what this is, please feel free to keep it to yourself, unless you believe it somehow explains the final season of Lost.

Screen Shots - Happy Hour

This is a shot from a Steak and Shake commercial advertising their half price drink campaign from 2 - 4 pm on weekdays.

Just look at these people. Look at the pure ecstacy in their faces. It's bordering on frantic. Holy fuck these people need a (non-alcoholic) drink. Nothing in their lives before of after this moment has or will ever come close to this in terms of relevance or life-changing phenomena.

Look at the dude. We'll call him "the amazing beard." Look at him. He is staring in the face of God, and it's more soul-shaking than he'd ever prepared himself for. He's in one of those dreams where you try to scream but no sound comes out. He thought he was in line for the Kyuss reunion, but when he realized it was only for cheap drinks, his face and scream remained the same, but he had a different motivation behind them.

Then there's the lady. We'll call her Meredith from The Office. She's lived a hard life. Man after man after man, all liars, all users, all abusive drunks. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to get off the methadone and slow down on the cigarettes. She had to make something of herself for her four (surviving) children. She's there for a 50% off shake - a vanilla one, of course. God bless her.


do you have a funny screen shot? cool story. go into paint a draw a picture of a dong on it and email it to your parents.