In tonight's episode, you'll learn why I grew a fake beard and you'll cry as you watch Charlie drown when he clearly could have swam out of the busted window in the underwater station!
But first, more made up awkward situations! LLLOOLL!
farting into the casket at a closed casket funeral knowing full well that people would assume the smell is the corpse but still carrying the guilt that i disrespected the recently deceased to avoid public humiliation.
crying during one of those sarah mclachlan "please help animals" commercials then publicly making fun of it with tears in my eyes.
lying about my knowledge of the rules of high school golf.
confessing my sins to a priest then later learning the priest was actually a homeless guy sitting on the other side of the booth. not to come out of the elements and get warm but because he wanted to rationalize his own misgivings.
clipping coupons for products i don't normally buy, then finally getting around to using them only to discover at the checkout lane they are expired.
getting a tattoo on my penis of a larger penis and later finding out that it's no longer cool to do that sort of thing.
using a 5/16" stainless steel hoop to pierce my butt cheeks together and later finding out that it was never cool to begin with.
using a typewriter to write my suicide note and finding out later, as a ghost, that people didn't heed my cries for help because they thought the usage of a typewriter was an attempt at being hip or ironic.
talking to a taco bell employee through the drive-thru speaker and misrepresenting my height only to later see them in public and hoping they won't confront me about the lie.
performing life-saving fellatio on a street-performing mime and later learning that a silent clown grasping at his throat while pointing at his crotch doesn't translate to "suck my cock or i'll die."
paying thousands of dollars in legal fees to learn that i cannot force a mime to speak in court as to what grasping at his throat while pointing at his crotch means.
dealing with the low yield of the high effort in discovering what a face-painted mute's semen tastes like. (hint: think cashews and vinegar)
jokingly blaming our president for events, ranging from trivial to super serious, that he could not have in any way been responsible for and later learning that other people do the same with the utmost sincerity.
telling my darkest secrets in a post on a website without even getting the gratification of anyone actually reading it.
have an awkward situation you want to share?
great! light a candle and unintentionally say obscure movie quotes backwards at midnight on the 13 month anniversary of you finally shutting the fuck up!!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
The Best Video You've Never Seen
Shot in 2008, the video stars my son Jak as Pac-Man and Dustin as the ghost.
This is as real as it gets.
Jak, six at the time, is on vocals and Dustin and I are doing our usual thing on the instruments.
The story follows a zombie/ghost dude as he is first reanimated and, with a series of flashbacks, remembers that he was forced to ingest an experimental drug.
Who made the drug or who forced him to take it is unclear, but like in the game Pac-Man, anyone he touches immediately dies.
Jak comes onto the scene as an ordinary dude, but once he eats the "power pellet," all bets are off.
This was written, shot and edited all in one day. Big deal, right? Well, I'm effing proud of it and hope you dig it too.
This is as real as it gets.
Jak, six at the time, is on vocals and Dustin and I are doing our usual thing on the instruments.
The story follows a zombie/ghost dude as he is first reanimated and, with a series of flashbacks, remembers that he was forced to ingest an experimental drug.
Who made the drug or who forced him to take it is unclear, but like in the game Pac-Man, anyone he touches immediately dies.
Jak comes onto the scene as an ordinary dude, but once he eats the "power pellet," all bets are off.
This was written, shot and edited all in one day. Big deal, right? Well, I'm effing proud of it and hope you dig it too.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Awkard Situations pt. 2
After the widely sloughed off Awkward Situations post, I just knew in my black little heart that it was time for more.
Buying $20 worth of lottery tickets and only winning one dollar, then not wanting to go back to same gas station and cash it in out of fear the clerk will remember my $19 loss.
Getting caught performing the Heimlich Maneuver on my pillow.
Having the squirts during a high society jewel theft.
Asking a trucker if he's "haulin' oats" and not getting a favorable response.
tip jamming.
Trying to order prime rib from a food truck at a PETA rally.
Getting caught putting one of those losing lottery tickets in a church collection plate.
Running out of sunblock and having to wear a ski mask to a public pool.
Buying beer for teenagers who later judge me for doing so.
Having to explain why I stole the identity of an unemployed barber.
Betting a toddler five dollars he can't eat a whole can of Play-Doh and losing. Who do I pay up to? The kid? His parents? The Walmart security guard that handcuffed me with zip ties? No one tells you how to deal with this shit.
Craving a taco but only having peanut butter and tortillas in the house. Then taking the lie to my grave that I was satisfied with the results.
Have an awkward situation you want to share? Great! Bottle it up for 25 years then cheat on your spouse and lease a new Toyota Tundra (or it's 2036 equivalent)!
Buying $20 worth of lottery tickets and only winning one dollar, then not wanting to go back to same gas station and cash it in out of fear the clerk will remember my $19 loss.
Getting caught performing the Heimlich Maneuver on my pillow.
Having the squirts during a high society jewel theft.
Asking a trucker if he's "haulin' oats" and not getting a favorable response.
tip jamming.
Trying to order prime rib from a food truck at a PETA rally.
Getting caught putting one of those losing lottery tickets in a church collection plate.
Running out of sunblock and having to wear a ski mask to a public pool.
Buying beer for teenagers who later judge me for doing so.
Having to explain why I stole the identity of an unemployed barber.
Betting a toddler five dollars he can't eat a whole can of Play-Doh and losing. Who do I pay up to? The kid? His parents? The Walmart security guard that handcuffed me with zip ties? No one tells you how to deal with this shit.
Craving a taco but only having peanut butter and tortillas in the house. Then taking the lie to my grave that I was satisfied with the results.
Have an awkward situation you want to share? Great! Bottle it up for 25 years then cheat on your spouse and lease a new Toyota Tundra (or it's 2036 equivalent)!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Top 125 Songs Of All Time - "Nights In White Satin"
"Letters I've written / never meaning to send"
We've all done this in our head at one point or another. We've all had things we wanted - needed - to say to another person, but kept it as internal dialogue instead. We can keep it to ourselves and regret it, or we can muster up the nerve to say it out loud, but chances are, either way, there will be some regret later on...
"Why did I say that? I coulda kept it to myself."
Or...
"I had the chance right then and there. Why didn't I just say it?"
It's a zero sum game. If someone has left you so emotionally afflicted you've found yourself in either or both of the above scenarios, congratulations, you have a heart. Also, sorry, but you have a heart.
The Moody Blues was supposed to be my first live concert experience. I wanna say Clowes Hall, but I'm not totally sure, but they were booked to play and canceled for some reason a couple weeks before the show. My dad bought two tickets for himself and a friend, but after the friend dropped out, he asked me if I wanted to go. "My first concert? Yea!," I thought. Then it was cancelled the next day.
This was 1990 or so. I was 11 or 12 years old, but I knew enough of the Moody Blues' catalog from waking up to their records playing as my dad cooked Sunday breakfast.
Overwrought, heavy-handed, cheesy, melodramatic - all words I've heard (and used myself) to describe The Moody Blues. Like the band Chicago, they were fusing genres and toying with the pop format in their prime. And like Chicago, they toiled in mediocrity and squandered their passion as they got older and became more interested in churning out sap.
People tend to judge bands by where they are currently or, if they disbanded, where they ended up. "You're only as good as your last record," right? Fair enough - that may be true in the present tense, but that logic doesn't take into account the body of work.
On the flip side, fans are quick to forgive or pretend the most recent record never happened and pay $62.50 plus fees to sit 40 rows back (most likely with half the original lineup) once every couple years to watch a band run through the greatest hits on auto-pilot while ignoring the sad truth: the band you really want to see was from 30 years ago performing the songs with at least an nth of integrity, all for a fifth of the cost.
Time isn't kind to art, and if you happen to be flipping your radio station one day and hear "Ice Ice Baby," for example, you realize it's only being played now because of its ironic usage. No one actually likes that song. It's the same reason you hear "YMCA" at every fucking wedding reception: it's stock. Everyone knows it and takes it for granted. It's four minutes of making letters in the air with your arms and then it's forgotten.
Tired of me bashing shitty songs? Okay.
"We Will Rock You / We Are The Champions." One of the most widely known and used songs at sporting events, and while it's not used in a cutesy-kinda way like the above-mentioned abortions of music, it has become a standard. You hear the opening drum beat of "We Will Rock You" and within a half second, you know the song and you know why it's being played - to amp up the home crowd.
And I'm not being a cynic. This is one of the reasons music is my favorite form of expression. It can connect with you, grab a hold of you and beat you unmercifully (both songs you love and hate). Who walks around saying shit like "dude, I have Michelangelo's 'The Creation Of Adam' stuck in my head"?
But Eddie Grant's "Electric Avenue"? You bet your ass I've had that stuck in my head. And now, as I type this, it is! Isn't that amazing?
Where am I going with this? Well, as disposable as most forms and art and media are, there a few songs that many consider "stock" but are still worth listening to on purpose.
"Nights In White Satin" is one of those songs, personally.
One day, when I'm an eccentric millionaire, I will pay to not only time travel, but to transform into a tiny fly, so that I may be on the wall in 1966 or 67 when this song was recorded.
It is not only an achievement in early prog-rock, it's just a beautiful fucking number.
Here's a great live cut http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWzskiTvqO0
The song was originally released on 1967's Days of Future Passed and Justin Hayward, the song's composer and singer, also wrote the album's other hit "Tuesday Afternoon." Neither of which were given much attention for a couple years. "Nights" specifically because of it's nearly seven minute running time, but it eventually caught the ears and acceptance of radio programmers after other lengthy songs "Hey Jude" and "Layla" paved the way.
I often have to defend my taste in certain music because on the surface, it may seem, eh, less than "cred worthy," but I don't care. I'll take good hooks and raw emotion over bands spending thousands of dollars to intentionally sound like crap or technical guitar wankery any day.
When Hayward sings the chorus "And I love you, yes I love you / oh, how I love you," I believe he's feeling every word, every note of it.
Good music can not only appeal to the senses, it can encapsulate a moment.
This song takes me back to fond memories of not only my childhood, but of my father when he was still strong. I get a foreboding feeling as "Nights" ends though, because as in real life, those Sunday mornings in the kitchen with my dad came to an end.
When I hear this song, I feel anger, denial, bargaining, and depression. I hang in that moment for a while. I want to stay there. Not out of sadness, but because i can come and go into a simpler time in my life just for listening to a song. It is a reminder of where I came from and who I am today. Then, as the final notes fade, I go to acceptance.
When faced with a choice of wondering whether you should keep your feelings inside or letting them out, I say get 'em out.There is enough regret in this world.
Once someone is gone from your life, you'd much rather know you at least told them how you felt.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
funnn pics
here are some pics of clouds and a bonus pic of a superhuman
Taken on the day before my son's last day of third grade. We had nachos, threw the football and watched a Foo Fighters concert. The sky was beautiful on this Monday evening. Because of this picture, I will never forget this special evening with my son.
This was taken from my job's parking lot while I was at lunch. There was this big cloud hiding the sun. then, as it slowly moved away, I was able to capture both.
This is Mike Schwab. Or, as the Germans call him, Mike Schvvab. Mike is a badass, plain and simple. He's also a diabetic. But what most people don't know, and as this recently released picture shows us, diabetics are actually superhumans with super powers us mere mortals are only starting to understand.
Taken on the day before my son's last day of third grade. We had nachos, threw the football and watched a Foo Fighters concert. The sky was beautiful on this Monday evening. Because of this picture, I will never forget this special evening with my son.
This was taken from my job's parking lot while I was at lunch. There was this big cloud hiding the sun. then, as it slowly moved away, I was able to capture both.
This is Mike Schwab. Or, as the Germans call him, Mike Schvvab. Mike is a badass, plain and simple. He's also a diabetic. But what most people don't know, and as this recently released picture shows us, diabetics are actually superhumans with super powers us mere mortals are only starting to understand.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
EyeHeartGodzilla - "Dirge For Jamis"
EyeHeartGodzilla. A play on words; a riffing on the band name EyeHateGod. EHG was Dustin and I's first "real" band before moving onto bigger and better things. We weren't really sure what the hell we were doing (he on drums, me on guitar - we shared vocals, depending on the song) when we started jamming together.
But the important thing was - we knew we wanted to jam. We willed this crap into existence.
About a year later, when our chops were a little more polished, we put this number together. It started with some jamming around on a "doomy" riff I had been playing around on. Dustin brought the sludge with the drums and after a few run-throughs, we knew we had something. But it was missing that pinch of cinnamon that would bring it all together.
In came our buddy Aaron with just that ingredient. Not to downplay the "pinch" he brought in, Aaron added a second guitar and some understated, but amazing lead work that, even when he and I were just playing the same riff during the verses, it made all the difference.
This recording was done live in Dustin's sultry upstairs jam room in the middle of August. After a few failed attempts, this track was caught live with one mic and I did vocals later (just in case you like the track but hate the vocals, I'm the one to blame).
This is one of the few tracks that the three of us can be heard on, which kinda sucks. Wish there were more.
Summer of 2006. We were eating riffs and shitting feedback.
(lyrics - scripture from the Dune novel)
Dirge For Jamis by melduncan
Punch Me!!1!
To promote the first annual Punch Mel Duncan Day, here's some playful punching on me from co-worker/iron tri-athlete Mike Schwab. Punch My Face Day is this Friday. Events start at 7:55pm EST. Cupcakes and Punch will be provided.
Awkward Situations.
Here's a list of situations I get all squirmy about. I know they're a little silly - that most people deal with these issues without breaking a sweat - but I figured I'd use the cold comfort of the internet to divulge the pickles in which i find myself. Here are a few...
Trying to collect a personal loan from a 400 pound meth addict with the words "born to die" tattooed across his face.
Asking a stripper if she can change a five dollar bill for 20 quarters.
Walking around with a rolled up dollar bill up my nose at a police taser seminar.
Being afraid of asking for extra ranch dressing at a restaurant out of the fear of being judged and thought of as a fatty fat fuck.
Realizing I, in a drunken fit, accidentally entered into a long term relationship with a woman I met on Craigslist that openly admitted to castrating her last four boyfriends, one of which being the proprietor of a Tupperware booth at a local flea market, who, in a bit of tragic irony, had just won the Tupperware regional "Gold Star" award for most Tupperware sales by a person with testicles.
Pooping at a bridal registry kiosk. I know, I'm weird, but I just get all awkward when I do it.
Using the baby Jesus doll to attempt suicide while performing on stage at a christmas pageant.
Prematurely ejaculating, then pretending I have a leg cramp as my reason for stopping.
Running for mayor of my town, getting nominated, then elected, then realizing I actually wanted to learn how to parasail instead.
Having to change a tire outside a lesbian bar.
Do you have any awkward situations you'd like to share? Great! Use a razor and write them across your chest and email the picture to Glenn Beck.
Trying to collect a personal loan from a 400 pound meth addict with the words "born to die" tattooed across his face.
Asking a stripper if she can change a five dollar bill for 20 quarters.
Walking around with a rolled up dollar bill up my nose at a police taser seminar.
Being afraid of asking for extra ranch dressing at a restaurant out of the fear of being judged and thought of as a fatty fat fuck.
Realizing I, in a drunken fit, accidentally entered into a long term relationship with a woman I met on Craigslist that openly admitted to castrating her last four boyfriends, one of which being the proprietor of a Tupperware booth at a local flea market, who, in a bit of tragic irony, had just won the Tupperware regional "Gold Star" award for most Tupperware sales by a person with testicles.
Pooping at a bridal registry kiosk. I know, I'm weird, but I just get all awkward when I do it.
Using the baby Jesus doll to attempt suicide while performing on stage at a christmas pageant.
Prematurely ejaculating, then pretending I have a leg cramp as my reason for stopping.
Running for mayor of my town, getting nominated, then elected, then realizing I actually wanted to learn how to parasail instead.
Having to change a tire outside a lesbian bar.
Do you have any awkward situations you'd like to share? Great! Use a razor and write them across your chest and email the picture to Glenn Beck.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Top 125 Songs Of All Time - "Lukin"
Hewwo,
This is my personal list of the Top 125 songs ever made. The Top 125 will not be ranked by number. I'm not really into arbitrarily trying to reason that "I Could Have Lied" ranks one point higher than "Bald Headed Hoes." Okay, bad example, I doubt "Bald Headed Hoes" or any other Willie D. song will make the list.
That said, his album Controversy remains a treasure to me. At 12, when I first heard the record, I was familiar with most of the words he used, but I had never heard them used in that order or context. It seriously changed how I looked at swearing forever, and truly believe I'm a better cusser because of it.
Speaking of foul words, the first entry into this bullshit list that no one will read is Pearl Jam's "Lukin." Pearl Jam just announced their 20th anniversary concert today. Info here - pj20.com
Anyfuckingway, "Lukin" comes from PJ's fourth studio record, No Code. It was widely seen as a departure for the band, and while it debuted at number one on the charts, it was seen as a commercial disappointment as it's sales paled in comparison to their first three records.
In my opinion, the band had been slowly but surely trying to sabotage their success starting with this record. Everyone knows they had refused to make videos for their singles, but the lead radio single from No Code was "Who You Are."
You don't even have to make it very far into the song to realize it was one of the most anti-commerical choices for a single in recent (if not all) history. On top of that, it was the lead single. Ya know, the one that's supposed to grab every one's attention?
Rock radio begrudgingly played "Who You Are," probably for no other reason than to seem relevant (this was right before the Clear Channel merger, when radio thrived to be halfway relevant.). It was in rotation for a couple weeks then forgotten about.
Damn near six months later, the band released a second single, but it was probably the second most noncommercial song on the record. Here's a live, pro-shot cut of "Off He Goes".
Don't get me wrong, there are some damn catchy songs on No Code. (It's probably my favorite Pearl Jam record, but that really depends on what day you catch me.) There's a lot on this record I could make an argument for, but the song that makes the Top 125 is "Lukin."
"Lukin" is a one minute blast of pure rock fury. It's really hard to say "Pearl Jam" and "thrash/punk" in the same sentence with a straight face, but hey, listen and decide for yourself.
The song is clearly about a stalker, and the lyrics would be enough to indicate that Eddie is being auto-biographical here, but "Lukin" is actually Matt Lukin, former bassist for The Melvins and Mudhoney - both Seattle area bands. Matt Lukin isn't the stalker though. His pad is the safe haven for the narrator (Vedder) to hide. Whether the events described in the lyrics are 100% true are not, the anger is genuine. The screams are raw and the music is at the brink of collapsing on itself. There's not even a second chorus; it ends abruptly with a short verse and the startling lyrics "The last I heard the freak was purchasing a fucking gun."
I grew up with a wide variety of music playing through the house. Commodores and Michael Jackson from my mom, Chicago and Moody Blues from my dad, Led Zeppelin and Metallica from one brother and NWA and Willie D/Ghetto Boys from another. You get the idea: blah blah, wow I'm sooo versatile, huh?
I mention this because one genre I really hadn't fully discovered was punk and it wasn't until late middle-school age. Punk, as I heard it, is basically the pop formula turned on its head. It's catchy as fuck, but it's not pretty.
So with all this in mind, Pearl Jam, my favoritestestest band in the world releases a minute-long punk song. A heavy one. With lots of tear-your-throat-out-screaming.
And it's right in the middle of their weirdest, quietest album to date.
There are a lot of songs from No Code that could make this list, and honestly, there's another song from this record that probably will.
Next up on the list: a pretty little ballad from a young lady that has a connection to The Beatles.
This is my personal list of the Top 125 songs ever made. The Top 125 will not be ranked by number. I'm not really into arbitrarily trying to reason that "I Could Have Lied" ranks one point higher than "Bald Headed Hoes." Okay, bad example, I doubt "Bald Headed Hoes" or any other Willie D. song will make the list.
That said, his album Controversy remains a treasure to me. At 12, when I first heard the record, I was familiar with most of the words he used, but I had never heard them used in that order or context. It seriously changed how I looked at swearing forever, and truly believe I'm a better cusser because of it.
Speaking of foul words, the first entry into this bullshit list that no one will read is Pearl Jam's "Lukin." Pearl Jam just announced their 20th anniversary concert today. Info here - pj20.com
Anyfuckingway, "Lukin" comes from PJ's fourth studio record, No Code. It was widely seen as a departure for the band, and while it debuted at number one on the charts, it was seen as a commercial disappointment as it's sales paled in comparison to their first three records.
In my opinion, the band had been slowly but surely trying to sabotage their success starting with this record. Everyone knows they had refused to make videos for their singles, but the lead radio single from No Code was "Who You Are."
You don't even have to make it very far into the song to realize it was one of the most anti-commerical choices for a single in recent (if not all) history. On top of that, it was the lead single. Ya know, the one that's supposed to grab every one's attention?
Rock radio begrudgingly played "Who You Are," probably for no other reason than to seem relevant (this was right before the Clear Channel merger, when radio thrived to be halfway relevant.). It was in rotation for a couple weeks then forgotten about.
Damn near six months later, the band released a second single, but it was probably the second most noncommercial song on the record. Here's a live, pro-shot cut of "Off He Goes".
Don't get me wrong, there are some damn catchy songs on No Code. (It's probably my favorite Pearl Jam record, but that really depends on what day you catch me.) There's a lot on this record I could make an argument for, but the song that makes the Top 125 is "Lukin."
"Lukin" is a one minute blast of pure rock fury. It's really hard to say "Pearl Jam" and "thrash/punk" in the same sentence with a straight face, but hey, listen and decide for yourself.
The song is clearly about a stalker, and the lyrics would be enough to indicate that Eddie is being auto-biographical here, but "Lukin" is actually Matt Lukin, former bassist for The Melvins and Mudhoney - both Seattle area bands. Matt Lukin isn't the stalker though. His pad is the safe haven for the narrator (Vedder) to hide. Whether the events described in the lyrics are 100% true are not, the anger is genuine. The screams are raw and the music is at the brink of collapsing on itself. There's not even a second chorus; it ends abruptly with a short verse and the startling lyrics "The last I heard the freak was purchasing a fucking gun."
I grew up with a wide variety of music playing through the house. Commodores and Michael Jackson from my mom, Chicago and Moody Blues from my dad, Led Zeppelin and Metallica from one brother and NWA and Willie D/Ghetto Boys from another. You get the idea: blah blah, wow I'm sooo versatile, huh?
I mention this because one genre I really hadn't fully discovered was punk and it wasn't until late middle-school age. Punk, as I heard it, is basically the pop formula turned on its head. It's catchy as fuck, but it's not pretty.
So with all this in mind, Pearl Jam, my favoritestestest band in the world releases a minute-long punk song. A heavy one. With lots of tear-your-throat-out-screaming.
And it's right in the middle of their weirdest, quietest album to date.
There are a lot of songs from No Code that could make this list, and honestly, there's another song from this record that probably will.
Next up on the list: a pretty little ballad from a young lady that has a connection to The Beatles.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Cell Phone Pictures
Around 7:30 pm, late March, 2011. One of the first of many days this year that deceptively felt like Spring, only to have the rug snatched from beneath us. We threw the football around that evening in the lot behind the apartment.
This shot was taken in between storms that evening. It was very windy with low-flying dark clouds moving quickly while the high altitude, more majestic clouds slowly scooted along.
What happens on a weeknight when you are single, lonely, drunk and should have gone to bed hours ago? This photo is one of the more innocent answers to that question. Having just moved in with a new room mate after a break up, i barely slept. This led to me taking pictures of a lot of dumb shit.
...so I wish I had an explanation for this one. The time stamp doesn't suggest I was drunk because it was taken in the middle of an afternoon. I also have no idea what it is either. This mystery has haunted me for minutes, as I just rediscovered this picture. If you have any ideas as to what this is, please feel free to keep it to yourself, unless you believe it somehow explains the final season of Lost.
Screen Shots - Happy Hour
This is a shot from a Steak and Shake commercial advertising their half price drink campaign from 2 - 4 pm on weekdays.
Just look at these people. Look at the pure ecstacy in their faces. It's bordering on frantic. Holy fuck these people need a (non-alcoholic) drink. Nothing in their lives before of after this moment has or will ever come close to this in terms of relevance or life-changing phenomena.
Look at the dude. We'll call him "the amazing beard." Look at him. He is staring in the face of God, and it's more soul-shaking than he'd ever prepared himself for. He's in one of those dreams where you try to scream but no sound comes out. He thought he was in line for the Kyuss reunion, but when he realized it was only for cheap drinks, his face and scream remained the same, but he had a different motivation behind them.
Then there's the lady. We'll call her Meredith from The Office. She's lived a hard life. Man after man after man, all liars, all users, all abusive drunks. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to get off the methadone and slow down on the cigarettes. She had to make something of herself for her four (surviving) children. She's there for a 50% off shake - a vanilla one, of course. God bless her.
do you have a funny screen shot? cool story. go into paint a draw a picture of a dong on it and email it to your parents.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)